The Observatory

In order to understand what I’m about to tell you, you have to realize that when I came home today and innocently went to wash my hands, I witness a positively HUGE spider crawling across the counter and into a nearby tupperware. And I don’t mean I just thought it was big. This thing had, legs included, about my thumb-length in diameter. For an inner-home setting, this was so unexpectedly huge that I actually jumped back and swore quite loudly (something I’m not prone to doing under normal circumstances). I alerted my mother to the situation and she came over. We suspected it was a baby wolf spider (it isn’t the first time one’s gotten into our house; though the last was more the size of my palm) and expressed our bewilderment at how it got into our home. Then, after looking at it for a while, we wondered… now what?

Seeing as it was already in a tupperware, I suggested getting a lid.

Mom couldn’t understand my need to not kill this creature with far too many eyes and legs. Honestly, I can’t blame her, as I’m not too keen on spiders myself. It looked big and out of place though (and unlikely to find its way back in despite the fact that it’d obviously managed it somehow the first time), and I disliked killing the last one despite it being a major violation to our living space and peace of mind. So I found a tupperware lid and, after securing that the spider could not escape, took it outside. It was actually pretty calm and slow-moving until I accidentally tapped the lid. Then it shot across the tupperware faster than I could blink. I managed to release it in a nearby planter though, even if it did require leaving the tupperware behind.

My mom didn’t like that I had released it so close to the house. She was sure it would get back in somehow and find her. Spiders always found her. My excuse that it was “too big” had a glaring hole that I was very aware of, and she swore that it would be back.

She was bringing a heavy basket of dishware into the kitchen when I heard her scream.

The situation played out as follows:

Mom: EEEEYYYAAAAAHHHH!
There is a huge crashing sound as everything she’s carrying is dropped.
Me, freaked out: What?! WHAT?!
Mom, beginning to laugh, sounding slightly relieved: Oh… oh, I thought it was a spider!
Me, still kinda freaked: What was it?!
Mom is still laughing.
Me: WHAT WAS IT?!
Mom is laughing too hard to answer, and when I look she’s leaning over with everything on the floor in front of her.
Me: You dropped everything for this, so what WAS it?
Mom, through her laughter: It was a zip-pull.
Me: … What?
Mom: It was a zipper pull!
Me, beginning to chuckle: Those aren’t even that big!
Mom, laughing harder: I thought it was a leg!

…That’s all I got.